Loose Ends
by Cat12
Summary: What happens after a fight between Jack and Sam ?
1. Loose Ends

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story (as much as I would like to) except Mike. They all belong to MGM  
  
Authors Note: Some where in season five. Okay this story is set after Jack has to chose between saving a friend whose been taken over by a Goa'uld or Sam. This is like the Aftermath # Indicates Sam's thoughts * Indicates jack's thoughts ^ Indicates Daniel's thoughts It can get a little bit confusing so just bare with it ;-) Have fun reading  
  
"Knock Knock"  
  
# I knocked on the Colonels door, I heard a gruff come in. I entered unsure how to proceed #  
  
Sam: I thought you might like to talk sir  
  
# I said, almost shyly #  
  
Jack: I'm fine, Carter but thanks for the offer,  
  
# He said it in such a venomous tone I wanted to turn back around. But I didn't #  
  
Sam: With all due respect sir, I don't think you are  
  
Jack: And what would you know  
  
* I know I shouldn't have snapped, but I really didn't want to talk about this*  
  
Sam: I know that it hurts to lose a friend, and I also know that it wasn't your fault  
  
Jack: Did I say that it was?  
  
Sam: No, but you're acting like it was and you're blaming yourself  
  
Jack: You know what, I don't blame myself. I blame you. If my goddamn feelings for you hadn't gotten in the way then none of this would have happened.  
  
Sam: You really believe that. Even if I had been someone else, you would have done the same thing.  
  
Jack: So you're saying it is my fault then  
  
Sam: No, I'm saying that there was nothing anyone could have done to change what happened, including you  
  
Jack: You don't know that, had that been anyone else but you it would have been different.  
  
Sam: Would it  
  
Jack: Yes ..no. maybe, I don't know, all right. All I do know is I can't handle this anymore  
  
Sam: What  
  
Jack: These feelings  
  
Sam: You think you're the only one here who is dealing with them  
  
Jack: Yeah well, you have a funny way of showing it.  
  
Sam: What's that supposed to mean  
  
Jack: It means, every time someone shows some interest in you, you dismiss any feelings you may have had for me and hop into bed with them. Martouf, Narim, Orlin, Joe don't tell me that if given the chance you wouldn't have done anything  
  
* Ow, her hand came into contact with my jaw before I could finish the sentence, and yeah I deserved it. I was about to apologize, when something she said got me fired up again, and all thoughts of an apology were lost*  
  
Sam: How dare you, I came here to try and help you.  
  
Jack: I don't want your help, I just want.  
  
Sam: What, come on SIR, what do you want  
  
Jack: I want it like it was before, before you came into my life and turned everything around  
  
# Despite my anger, I felt the tears brimming and be damned if I was going to let him see me cry. I fled the room as fast as I could. I vaguely heard him mutter something that could have been an apology but it was too late. I got to my lab and locked the door #  
  
* I don't know why I said that, actually yes I do. I needed to let my anger out on someone and she was there, pushing me so I did. I was trying to hurt her, and it worked. In all the years I've known her I've never seen her cry before. Before now that is. Granted she wasn't actually crying but she was close to it. I round the corner and nearly knocked over Daniel*  
  
Daniel: Hey Jack where are you off to so fast.  
  
* Where was I going? It suddenly occurred to me I wasn't in my office anymore. I figured it was best to leave Sa..Carter for a while, so I said .*  
  
Jack: Off to the cafeteria actually, wanna come for a coffee  
  
Daniel: Sure  
  
In The Cafeteria  
  
^ Okay I know the last few days have been tough, but Jack looks really worse for wear ^  
  
Daniel: So what's up?  
  
Jack: What  
  
* Was I really that transparent*  
  
Daniel: I dunno you just seem, distant  
  
^ Distraught comes to mind ^  
  
Jack: I guess, me and Sam got into a bit of a fight  
  
Daniel: Sam?  
  
^ I had to ask, something was seriously not right here ^  
  
Jack: Carter, whatever  
  
Daniel: Do you want to talk about it?  
  
Jack: No  
  
Daniel: Okay  
  
^ I think about pushing the matter a bit further but decide against it. He's probably been through enough for one day. We didn't say much after that. Jack went off to his office and I haven't seen him since. I decide to pay Sam a visit. I knock on the door to her lab but it's looked ^  
  
Daniel: Sam are you okay?  
  
^ A moment latter I hear the lock undoing ^  
  
Daniel: hey Are you okay? I saw Jack before and he mentioned you two had a bit of a disagreement  
  
Sam: I'm fine  
  
^ I can tell she's been crying, she's shaky and her eyes are red ^  
  
Sam: Look Daniel I've got a lot of work to do, so if you don't mind. Thanks for coming to see me anyway.  
  
# I can tell he's a little hurt, but I really just want to be left alone. I know he'll understand #  
  
Daniel: Yeah Sure, I guess I'll see you round Bye  
  
# Daniel heads off down the hall and I go back to what I was doing. Typing up my letter of resignation. Jack wanted me out of his life, so I'm leaving. this may be a little drastic but it'll be better this way. No more feelings getting in the way of our job and no more jack. Another tear makes its way down my cheek, the first of many and I sigh remembering it's for the best. I can't stay not now i know how he really feels about me #  
  
* I keep thinking about going to see Sam, to apologize. Daniel came past before and told me she was pretty upset, but I don't know what to say. I acted like a complete jerk, but in some ways it was true what I said, although not in the way she took it. Yes it was easier before I met her, but I never said it was better. It goes back to that question "is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all" and when it comes down to it I wouldn't trade anything for the time I've spent with Sam even if we couldn't be "together". I just don't know how to tell her that, without over stepping that Colonel/Major boundary that we're restricted to. This time I really don't know what to do.*  
  
# Barstered. He could have at least stopped by and try to apologize. If he had maybe I wouldn't be on my way to General Hammond with my resignation in hand. I still don't know how I'm going to explain this to him. I don't think personal reasons are going to cut it. But I can't stay here anymore. I don't want to, not when Ja...the colonel can't even stand to have me in the same room let a lone his life. So it's over. I'm leaving. I'll ask Hammond if I can transfer back to the pentagon, if not maybe I'll take up teaching or something. Who knows #  
  
^ There's Jack, maybe he knows why there was an emergency briefing called this morning ^  
  
Daniel: Hey Jack, do you know why there was a briefing called  
  
Jack: Not a clue  
  
* I really have no idea, normally Hammond discusses briefings with me *  
  
Daniel: Did you talk to Sam yet?  
  
Jack: Not yet, but I will  
  
*Just as soon as I think of something to say to her *  
  
^ I take my usual seat next to Teal'c, as General Hammond begins to speak ^  
  
Teal'c: Should we not wait for Major Carter?  
  
G. Hammond: Actually it's about major Carter I wish to discuss, Teal'c  
  
Teal'c: Then you may continue, General Hammond  
  
G. Hammond: Thank you Teal'c. Now as I was saying, I regret to inform you that Major Carter has taken her leave from Sg-1 and the SGC  
  
Jack: What!  
  
* She can't have left. My Mind was racing *  
  
Jack: Did she say why Sir?  
  
* Although I suspected I already knew the answer*  
  
G. Hammond: Due to personal reasons Colonel  
  
* I couldn't believe it. I never meant any of what I said. I can't believe she left. Daniel and Teal'c are just sitting there in silence and I know it hasn't sunk in for them yet. It will. *  
  
Jack: General, can I have a word  
  
* I was mad and he knew it*  
  
G. Hammond: Of course Colonel  
  
* We went into his office as I had every intention of speaking my mind to him*  
  
Jack: Why the hell wasn't I told about this, why didn't she tell me about this  
  
G. Hammond: Colonel I understand you're upset  
  
Jack: Upset, of course I'm bloody upset she had no right to. .  
  
G. Hammond: Jack, sit down  
  
Jack: Yes Sir  
  
G.Hammond: Now I don't know what happened between you and major Carter, but I suggest you try and find her and fix it  
  
Jack: Yes sir, do you know where she went  
  
G. Hammond: She asked me to try and get her transferred back to the pentagon, but the only thing they had on offer she didn't want. I'm sorry Jack but she asked specifically not to be contacted. If I hear anything I'll let you know  
  
Jack: Thank you Sir  
  
* I can't believe this is happening, all the people I know, all the contacts I have and no one knows a bloody thing about where Carter is. I tried going to her apartment, but no one answered the door. I was considering breaking it down when the lady net door came round and told me she'd left late last night. Wherever she is she doesn't want to be found*  
  
^ How could she just leave like that. She called me last night to say goodbye and apologize, but she wouldn't tell me where she was. I tried to remind her all the friends she was leaving behind. Me, Jack, Teal'c, Janet, Cassie. Cassie how was she going to take the news? She didn't say anything, just apologized then hung up. I thought back to the phone call, trying to think of where she might be. No ones had any luck in locating her yet. Jack's trying but he's not having much luck. I tried to get him to talk about their fight, but whenever the subject comes up he clams and won't say anything. Whatever it was about it's clear he blames himself for her leaving. All I know is she's not coming back ^  
  
3 Years Later  
  
Jack: Why do we have to go, General?  
  
* I really hate these things *  
  
G. Hammond: Because Colonel, You're part of Sg-1, and the president formally requested Sg teams 1, 5 and 7  
  
Jack: Still with all due respect Sir, this is a pentagon thing  
  
G. Hammond: I am well aware of that Colonel, Now the occasion is formal dress, and I expect you all to be there by 1800. A plane will leave for Washington at precisely 0600-tomorrow morning.  
  
* Captain Jennifer Haily whips of a yes sir before we leave. Did I mention I hate these things? The pentagon is holding a formal gathering to thank everyone for the hard work they've done this year and we get invited as representatives of the SGC. Did I mention I hate these things*  
  
^ So here we are standing at the door of some big place in Washington. Jack is squirming behind me, he really hates these things. Jen is standing there eyes wide, I guess she's never been to one of these things before. She looks nice, it's only a simple red strappy dress, but the women of the SGC don't often get to dress up much. ^  
  
Jack: Okay Kids I guess we'd better make an appearance  
  
* Or at least stay hidden behind the bar all night. we walk in and Haily immediately spots someone she knows and races off to mingle with Teal'c in tow. Daniel and I take up positions near the door. we can pretty much see anyone who enters without them seeing us *  
  
Daniel: Look Jack, I know how much you hate these things but co. whoa  
  
Jack: what?  
  
^ oh wow, I blink a couple of times to see if I'm hallucinating. No it's really her. Sam Carter just walked through the door. Linked with some other guy's arm. Did I mention. wow. All that time we spent trying to find her and she's here. Okay so now I'm kinda angry with her, but that quickly passes what happened happened, all that matters is she's here. we're both staring at her, jack and me. I wonder what he's thinking ^  
  
* Okay right now I don't really know what to think. Sam just walked in the door. She hasn't changed much. Her hairs longer, about as long as the Alternate reality Sam. But it looks a lot nicer sorta layered. And she looks great. She's wearing just a simple blue flowy dress that matches perfectly with her eyes. She's linked arms with some guy, probably a husband. Reality comes crashing down. She could be married, have kids a dog. She has a whole life that I know nothing about. will she be angry with me? will she even want to talk to me? Has she missed me? Does she hate me? All of a sudden I can't stand this anymore. I have to get out *  
  
Daniel: Jack where are you going  
  
Jack: I don't know yet, but I can't stay here  
  
* He grabs my arm *  
  
Daniel: Your not even going to try and talk to her are you  
  
Jack: I don't know yet Daniel, I just need some air  
  
^ I can't believe it. we finally found her and he's running away. well I'm not. I walk up to her. She has her back turned and she can't see me yet. Excuse me, I say and she turns around ^  
  
Sam: Daniel  
  
^ She seems happy to see me, but she's being careful. She probably thinks I'm going to starting screaming at her. I smile warmly and she knows I'm not mad. She pulls me into a hug, and she whispers. ^  
  
Sam: I missed you  
  
Daniel: me to  
  
^ and it's true I have ^  
  
Mike: Hi I'm Mike  
  
Daniel: I'm Daniel  
  
Sam: I'm sorry, Daniel this is mike we kinda work together. Mike this is Daniel we used to work together.  
  
# I couldn't believe it when I turned around and I was standing face to face with Daniel. I was s worried he'd be angry, that he'd chew me to piece's right here. But he didn't. I've missed him so much. I wanted to call, but I was so worried he wouldn't want to talk to me #  
  
Mike: Sam, did you want a drink?  
  
Sam: Yeah thanks Mike  
  
# Mike heads off in the direction of the bar #  
  
Daniel: So, Mike sounds nice  
  
Sam: Yeah he is  
  
Daniel: Are you and he?  
  
# I laugh and for a minute Daniel looks confused. Me and Mike, that's a good one #  
  
Sam: No, we're just friends, besides you should know better than that Daniel  
  
^ A brief look of sorrow passes over her face, gone as quick as it came and I know she's thinking about Jack. She could have any man in this room,. except the one she wants and I know Sam she wouldn't settle for anyone else. ^  
  
# It suddenly occurred to me that if Daniel was here where was the rest of sg-1 #  
  
Sam: So what are you doing here anyway? I thought this was just a pentagon thing  
  
Daniel: It was but a few teams got invited to represent the SGC  
  
^ All of a sudden the lights dimmed. When they came back on I realized what was going on.  
  
TERRORISTS  
  
Chapter Two  
  
^ The lights go out, but this time when they come back on there is a man in a suit on stage ^  
  
Man on Stage: Sorry folks we're just having a little problem with the lights.  
  
^ Every one seems to calm down , but something's not right , so I grab Sam's arm and take her into the corner ^  
  
Sam: Daniel, what's going on  
  
Daniel: I don't know, but those lights didn't just go out  
  
Sam: You've been in the military way to long Daniel. It's starting to show  
  
Daniel: I'm serious Sam, just before the lights went out I saw a guy with a gun running across there  
  
^ I point up to where I saw him running. Are you sure? She asks me. Positive I reply. She looks at me for a minute and then says ^  
  
Sam: Okay lets check it out  
  
Daniel: Hey wait a minute, what if they are terrorists. Your gonna just go up their unarmed  
  
Sam: Not me, we and we're just gonna have a look. Besides if we need to, I'm sure we could find something to defend ourselves with  
  
Daniel: Maybe we should wait for Jack  
  
^ she stops dead, like I knew she would, but she had to find out sooner or later ^  
  
Sam: He's here  
  
Daniel: Yeah  
  
Sam: All the more reason we shouldn't tell him. He'd probably try to do something stupid  
  
Daniel: You mean like we're about to do  
  
^ either she didn't hear that or she chose to ignore it, which I'm kinda glad about. we head up the stairs making sure no one sees us. we turn the corner and coming from a room down the end we hear voices. As we get closer it's clear the voice belongs to Jack ^  
  
Jack: I just want to know what's going on?  
  
Terrorist 1: I swear if you don't shut up, I'll shoot you  
  
^ yep, that definitely sounds like Jack. I don't recognize the other voice though. I hear Sam next to me whisper ^  
  
Sam: what the hell is he trying to do ?  
  
^ Probably the same thing we were trying to do, I reply as I feel the cold hard barrel of a gun pressed into my back. But I doubt she heard me. This is the first time she's seen jack in over three years. There wasn't a snow balls chance in hell she was gonna hear me ^  
  
* For a minute I can't think, I can't believe she's here standing right in front of me. Then all of a sudden something clicks and I realize for the first time how much danger she's in. what the hell is she doing here? Does she want to get herself killed, and Daniel, why couldn't he just stay where he was damn it.  
  
# I can't believe it, it really is him. we just stare at each other as Daniel and I are pushed into the room. At first he seemed shocked. Then he gave me a look I knew all to well. One that told me there's no way in hell I should be here. My thoughts are interrupted by the man yelling and waving a gun in front of my face #  
  
Terrorist 1: who the hell are these people  
  
Terrorist 2: I found them snooping outside, Sir  
  
* Sir now that sounded military, possibly NID. I risk a glance at Carter and can tell she's thinking the same thing. I really wish I could talk to her. But at the moment that's kind of impossible. These people have us separated *  
  
Terrorist 1: Okay, I want them secured and locked in here until I can find some way to get rid of them  
  
Sam: you don't need to do this  
  
Terrorist 1: shut up  
  
Jack: hey!  
  
* I yell out, as the guy hits her on the head with the end of his gun leaving a nasty gash. that was stupid, even for Carter it's not her job to negotiate. despite myself I go to help her, but I'm stopped by a gun in my face *  
  
Terrorist 1: stay there  
  
* okay, okay, jeez this guy is tight and I think know why, he's planning on killing us and he obviously doesn't want to. He starts to tie my hands together. Maybe just maybe Carter was right to try and talk to this guy *  
  
Jack: Look, if you just let us go, we can pretend none of this ever happened  
  
Terrorist 1: you really think I believe that  
  
Jack: hey even if we did tell, what are the chances they'd find you. who are you with NID? You'd be impossible to find  
  
* I can see he's considering this *  
  
Terrorist 1: If you don't shut up I'm going to put a bullet through his brain okay  
  
* he points the gun towards Daniel, who's standing to the left of me*  
  
Jack: okay, okay I get the point  
  
* he looks at me with a coy smile *  
  
Terrorist 1: good  
  
* he turns to the other guys in the room *  
  
Terrorist 1: I want this door locked and a guard outside this room at all times, understood  
  
Terrorist 2: yes sir  
  
^ we sit in silence for a while. Jack keeps throwing worried glances over to Sam, not that I blame him, she's bleeding and the cut looks pretty bad. If only I could get these ropes off. As if on cue Jack unknots the last of his ropes and within a second he's over to her. ^  
  
Jack: Carter, Sam  
  
Daniel: How is she?  
  
Jack: Badly concussed  
  
^ he gently unties her and makes his way over to me and within seconds mine are of too ^  
  
Daniel: Thanks  
  
Jack: anytime  
  
^ I check around the room for something that might help us to escape, while jack goes over to Sam who seems to be coming out of her daze  
  
Jack: Hey, are you okay  
  
Sam: Yeah I'm fine  
  
Daniel: Jack over here, I think I found something  
  
Jack: Hang on Daniel. Do you think you can stand?  
  
Sam: Yeah  
  
* I help Carter up, she reckons she can walk, but I'm not so sure that's a nasty concussion she's got. She takes a couple of steps then stumbles. I put my arm around her waist to steady her, but she shrugs it off *  
  
Sam: I'm fine just a little dizzy  
  
Jack: which is exactly why you need my help  
  
* she relents and leans against me as we walk over to see what Daniel's found.*  
  
Jack: Daniel you legend.  
  
* just behind a stack of boxes was an air vent leading into the roof *  
  
Daniel: If we drag over the table, we should be able to get up there.  
  
* I have to admit this was one of Daniel's better Ideas. we decided I should go first, so I could help Carter up, then Daniel. However it didn't take us long to get completely lost in the vents *  
  
Jack: So any idea which way to go, kids?  
  
Daniel: I figure if we go off to the side vents they lead into rooms, so if we keep going straight we should come out in the hall  
  
Jack: side vent it is then  
  
* well it looks like Daniel was right. We came out in a room similar to the other one we were being held in. I stick my head out the door to see if anyone's around*  
  
Jack: Looks clear, we good to go?  
  
Daniel: I'm good  
  
Jack: Carter?  
  
Sam: Me too  
  
^ we head out the into the hall. Sam still looks a little woozy, but Jack seems to be keeping an eye on her . We figured the best way to get help was by going down the fire escape and to then call Hammond or the police. Thing is we have to get there first. We figure its closer to go to the fire escape on level 2, and we're now on level 3. We're just about to reach the stairs to level 2, when I hear the distinct click of the safety catch being removed on a gun. I'm just about to turn around when .. ^  
  
Bang  
  
Chapter 3  
  
* It all happened so fast. The man had his gun pointed at Daniel and shot just as Daniel turned around, Carter saw what was happening and pushed him out of the way. The police then came bursting through the door. Daniel tripped down the steps and landed about half way, so I quickly went down to him *  
  
Jack: Daniel, you okay ?  
  
Daniel: Yeah, nothing broken. What happened ?  
  
Jack: The police came in, someone from the party must of realized things were a bit suss, and called them?  
  
Daniel: Is Sam Okay?  
  
Jack: yep, she's fine  
  
Sam: Jack  
  
* I heard Carter call out to me from the top of the stairs. I turned around and immediately froze. She wasn't fine, she was bleeding. When she'd pushed Daniel out of the way the bullet must have hit her. I ran up the stairs to catch her before she fell down them like Daniel had. I put her down on the ground and started yelling at the police for an ambulance. God there was so much blood. I managed to find the wound under all the blood, but there wasn't an exit wound, which meant that the bullet was still in her. I took of my jacket and applied pressure to the wound, trying to stop the blood and she nearly passed out .* Jack: Sam, come on I need you to stay with me  
  
Sam: So c..cold  
  
Jack: I know, but I need you to keep talking to me, okay?  
  
Sam: Wh...what a...about ?  
  
Jack: anything, just keep talking dammed  
  
* She started shivering, and I knew she was going into shock *  
  
Sam: So, t...tired  
  
Jack: Don't you dare fall asleep on me Carter, That's an order.  
  
Sam: You can't o..or..d..der me any.m.more, Jack  
  
Jack: And I can't loose you either  
  
Sam: M...m..ay n...not have .. choice  
  
*I couldn't loose her not now, not after I just found her *  
  
Jack: Sam please, fight this  
  
* I was begging her, I had no other options left.*  
  
Sam: ca..n't  
  
* She'd stopped shivering now and it was clear that it was her body's way of saying it had given up. Where the hell was the ambulance *  
  
Jack: I need you Sam, I love you  
  
* I'd said it, after years of trying to deny it, trying to hide it I'd finally said it. But was it too late? I felt a tug on my shoulder. The ambo's were here. They quickly shoved me out of the way, to look at Sam. Before I knew what was happening they had her strapped onto a stretcher and were carrying her out. I was barely aware of Daniel leading me to the car to follow the ambulance to the hospital *  
  
Chapter Four  
  
^ I can't believe it. Sam's been shot. If she hadn't pushed me out of the way it would be me in surgery right now. Jack and I are sitting in the waiting room, as we have been for the last two hours and there still hasn't been any word. I get up to go get a coffee, I ask Jack if he wants one but he just shakes his head. I heard what he said to her, how he finally admitted to her how he felt. I know this is hard for him and I hop e to god she makes it through this, not just for me but for Jack. ^  
  
Jack: I don't think I can do this  
  
Daniel: what do you mean?  
  
^ there's a brief pause before he stands up ^  
  
Daniel: Jack where are you going?  
  
Jack: I have to get out of here  
  
Daniel: Jack  
  
^ I barely have time to yell after him before he's out the door. I'm about to follow him, when a nurse comes over ^  
  
Nurse: Doctor Jackson  
  
Daniel: Yes, that's me  
  
Nurse: Samantha Carter is having a reaction to the drugs she is being given, however there is no record of her being allergic to any of them. Do you now why this might be  
  
Daniel: no I don .  
  
^ then it suddenly hits me. The protein marker left by Jolinar could be effecting the drugs. But I can't exactly say she was taken over by an alien about five years ago can I? ^  
  
Daniel: when I worked with her she had an accident that caused some, ahh .. changes  
  
Nurse: I'm going to need a bit more information than that sir  
  
Daniel: I can give you the number of her doctor she is aware of all the details  
  
^ I give her Janet's mobile number and hope it will still work if Janet's on base. I know technically she's not Sam's doctor anymore but I'm pretty sure Sam hasn't told anyone else about her protein marker. ^  
  
Nurse: Thank you sir  
  
^ the nurse heads of in the direction of a phone and set out to try and find Jack ^  
  
* I can't do this. I've already lost too many people in my life that I care about and I can't, no I won't go through that again. Maybe I'm not thinking straight, or maybe for the first time I finally am, either way I don't particularly care. This is one bridge I'm not going to cross. In fact I'm going to jump straight off it. *  
  
^ After about ten minutes of looking I spot Jack, but something's not right. He's standing a cross from the hospital on the other side of the high way on the edge of what looks to be a very high bridge. I race over to him and when I'm just about there he climbs over onto the other side of the safety rail. I have a bad feeling I know what he's about to do. ^  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Daniel: Jack, what the hell do you think you're doing?  
  
Jack: what does it look like I'm doing  
  
Daniel: come on jack you can't be serious  
  
Jack: just stay out of it Daniel and leave me alone  
  
Daniel: I can't do that  
  
Jack: why not  
  
Daniel: because, you're upset and you're making a mistake  
  
Jack: the only mistake I ever made was not doing this sooner  
  
Daniel: that's not true  
  
Jack: isn't It. well I must have made some mistake to deserve all this. I've lost a son, a wife, more friends than I can count and now I'm about to loose Sam.  
  
Daniel: I admit Jack , that you've been through a lot, but there's one thing you're forgetting  
  
Jack: and what's that  
  
Daniel: you haven't lost Sam, not yet. Not until you jump off that bridge and give up on her.  
  
Jack: I'm not giving up on her  
  
Daniel: really? Cause that's what it looks like to me. How do you think she's going to feel when she wakes up and finds out what you've done. Do you think she'll ever be able to forgive herself. You know Sam she'd live with the guilt until it destroyed her  
  
Jack: But it wouldn't, its not her fault  
  
Daniel: And the only way she's going to believe that is if you tell her yourself  
  
Jack: I don't think I could handle it if she doesn't make it  
  
Daniel: we'll just wait and see okay. Sam wouldn't give up that easily  
  
Chapter 6  
  
^Jack and I entered the hospital. I couldn't believe how close he'd come to...never mind, its not important now, what is important is that we find out how Sam's doing. I'm about to go ask at the counter when I see a nurse come up to. The same nurse that came up before to tell me about Sam. ^  
  
Nurse: Doctor Jackson  
  
Daniel: yes  
  
Nurse: Samantha Carter has been transferred to a base facility at Cheyenne mountain by request of a doctor Fraiser. There is transport waiting for you and a Mr. Oneill outside arranged by a general Hammond  
  
Daniel: thank you  
  
^ I grab Jack's arm and we go outside where we find a military registered jeep and a couple of SF's waiting. One of the SF's quickly jumps out and opens the door for us. "Colonel, Doctor" he says with a nod and we both hop in. I'm really worried about Jack, he's hardly said two words since the bridge and he looks like he's about to explode. ^  
  
* I can tell Daniel's worried about me. He keeps throwing me sympathetic glances and I swear if he doesn't stop it I'm going to loose it. Although he probably has reason to worry. I can't believe what I nearly did. I haven't felt like this since ... since Charlie. I know its been a long time but it still hurts and I can't imagine going through that again, but for once Daniel's right she's still alive and as long as she's alive I won't give up.*  
  
^ It seems to take forever for us to arrive at the base each minute felt like an hour but we finally get there. Before the jeep has even stopped, both Jack and I are out of it and headed to the first security check only to be stopped by the SF's on duty wanting ID and a palm scan. ^  
  
SF1: ID please Sirs, then place your palm here  
  
Jack: I'm Jack Oneill and I don't have time for this  
  
^ Jack tries to push his way past without success. ^  
  
Sf2: I'm sorry Sir, we need ID and a palm Scan  
  
Jack: I don't care what the hell you need, I NEED to get past  
  
Daniel: Jack, just do as they say  
  
^ he turned around and gave if looks could kill I'd be gone. ^  
  
Jack: Fine, just hurry up  
  
^ after he's done he doesn't bother to wait for me he just charges off down the hall. ^  
  
Sf1: Okay, Doctor Jackson you're clear  
  
Daniel: Thank you  
  
^ I get to the next security check and the guy just waves me past. The other SF's must have called ahead and told him to let us through. Probably a good thing cause I don't think there was anyway to stop Jack short of injuring him. I meet up with Teal'c in the elevator, who was on evidently on his way up to meet me. ^  
  
Daniel: Teal'c when did you get here?, where's Sam?, is she okay?  
  
Teal'c: When the police arrived at the function Captain Jennifer Haily and I decided it would be best to inform general Hammond of the situation, in case it was related to NID so we returned to the base believing Major Carter, Colonel Oneill and yourself were all in full health. If we had know of Major Caters injuries we would have endeavored to stay and help  
  
Daniel: Its all right Teal'c there was nothing either you or Jen could have done.  
  
Teal'c: Major Carter is still in surgery Doctor Fraiser said to inform you that she will let you know what is happening when Major Carter is stable.  
  
^The elevator doors open and we practically run to the infirmary. As soon as we get there we are met by Jack and general Hammond. "Any News" I ask. Jack doesn't look up and General Hammond just looks at me with a sad face and for a moment I fear the worst, then general Hammond says, "Not since she first went into surgery". I sigh and take a seat. This could be a while. ^  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Daniel: Jack why don't you go get some rest? you look like crap.  
  
^ He really does, he looks exhausted, Sam's been in surgery for at least three hours now, and that doesn't include the time at the other hospital. I stifle a yawn myself. ^  
  
Jack: I could say the same about you  
  
^ I know that he's right, I also know that he's not going anywhere. This is Jack and not even the Goa'uld attacking earth could move him right now. So I settle for the next best thing. ^  
  
Daniel: how about a coffee or something to eat  
  
^ he grunts what I can only assume to be a yes, so I send an airman off to get something from the cafeteria. The airman comes back a few minutes later with two coffees and what looks to be two mince pies. ^  
  
(((((  
  
Jack: What the hell can they be doing in there ?  
  
^ Jacks outburst startles everyone. Its been about four hours since Sam was first brought here and you can cut the tension with a knife. Teal'c, who was standing in the corner has slumped in a chair with the ever stoic look on his face, Jen went a while ago to get back to work not that I can blame her, she never knew Sam so it is rather pointless her being here, General Hammond had to attend to other SGC business and Jack he's now pacing around the room, his Pie unopened and his coffee long cold, ranting about how long its taking. ^  
  
Teal'c: Major Carter's injuries were quite severe, and she reacted to the drugs she was given at the other hospital. It may take some time for her to recover.  
  
Jack: I know that Teal'c I just wish the Doc would let us know what was going on  
  
^ Jack definitely has a way with words, as soon as he said that, as if on cue Janet came out of surgery  
  
Jack: How is she ?  
  
Teal'c: Is Major Carter well ?  
  
Daniel: what happened ?  
  
Janet: Sam was shot in the abdominal region, the bullet was logged in next to the rantrivious vein, which is one of the main blood vessels in the body. If the slightest cut is made to it, because of where it's positioned, you would most likely bleed to death internally. The doctor's in the other hospital tried to give Sam a dose of morphadox, to stop the swelling of the rantivious vein so they could remove the bullet unfortunately Sam's protein marker reacted with the drug and caused an infection to break out around where the bullet was logged. We were tr..  
  
Jack: what the hell does that mean  
  
* everyone turns to look at me, I didn't mean to snap but she can go though the details later. Right now I just need to know if she's going to be all right. *  
  
Jack: Is she going to make it or...  
  
* I stopped we all new what the or was *  
  
Janet: I'm sorry Colonel  
  
* She's sorry what the hell does that mean *  
  
Janet: Sam went into a coma shortly after we removed the bullet  
  
Jack: She's in a coma, that means she could still wake up right, people wake up from coma's all the time  
  
Janet: Colonel you have to understand, yes, Sam's reasonably young, and healthy, she has that going for her. However her injuries were quite severe. It could go either way but chances are her vital organs will fail due to the pressure they're under from the infection and at the moment the infection is just under control if it gets any worse it will cause her rantrivious vein to burst. I'm sorry, I really am, but even if she did wake up she could still suffer from permanent brain damage.  
  
^ This isn't fair. The bullet should have hit me not her. Jack is absolutely crushed and why shouldn't he be. Janet practically told him to give up. I hear Jack whisper something so quietly I'm not sure he really said anything at all, until I hear Janet reply ^  
  
Jack: Can we see her ?  
  
Janet: Give it about five minutes, and one at a time  
  
Daniel: Thanks  
  
* I go in to the infirmary with Janet close behind. This is the first time I've seen Sam since she was shot. She's so pale. My legs start to shake so I go and sit down next to her be. All I can think about is how this might be the last time I get to see her alive, I go to hold her hand. My own hands are shaking now, just as I feel her finger underneath mine the machine starts beeping and an alarm goes off *  
  
Jack: Janet, what's going on ?  
  
* she just ignores me and starts yelling to the other nurses *  
  
Janet: Her VP's dropping, I need a crash cart  
  
* I need to know what's going on *  
  
Jack: Janet what's wrong ?  
  
Janet: Colonel get out of here, okay charge the panels to 80%, clear  
  
* Sam's body jumps up into the air but there's still no change to the monitors, I can't help myself, I can't loose her, not now, Will somebody do something, I yell out in frustration*  
  
Janet: Charge the panels to 100%, and will someone get him out of here  
  
* I'm rushed out of the infirmary by one of the nurses, my last view is of Sam lying a deadly shade of white with no pulse. *  
  
To Be Continued 


	2. Waiting

Daniel: Jack are you okay, What happened, how's Sam  
  
^ I can tell something's wrongs, All the colour has drained from his face and he's shaking slightly. ^  
  
Daniel: Jack what the hell happened  
  
^ he just stands there not saying anything, when Janet comes out of the infirmary ^  
  
Daniel: What happened  
  
Janet: The infection was putting to much strain on her vital organs causing her to have a seizure  
  
Daniel: how bad's the infection  
  
Janet: Actually it's showing signs of improving.  
  
Daniel: does that mean she'll be all right  
  
Janet: It means that for Sam to get better she's got to get a lot worse  
  
Teal'c: I do not understand  
  
Janet: The body's way of fighting off an infection is to break out in a fever, but in Sam's case the fever could be added strain the body can't handle causing her vital organs to shut down, that is if the actual infection doesn't cause them too  
  
^ Just as she says this General Hammond comes over ^  
  
Janet: any luck contacting Jacob, Sir ?  
  
G. Hammond: we dialed the Tok'ra Home World, but there was no one there. On the way back to the gate Sg-3 encountered Goa'uld gliders. We think the Tok'ra were under attack and had to evacuate.  
  
Janet: so the healing device is useless then  
  
G. Hammond: part of our agreement includes the Tok'ra telling us the coordinates of their homeworld, once things have settled down Jacob will most likely come through himself to tell us the new coordinates.  
  
Janet: how long will that take  
  
G. Hammond: up to a month depending on how secure their new homeworld is  
  
^ Jack storms up to Janet. I think its safe to say he's seriously pissed off, I think maybe he's going through shock of some sort of shock ^  
  
Jack: but she won't last that long, am I right Doc  
  
Janet: Colonel...  
  
Jack: Janet, she's been shot for gods sake, there must be something you can do, how many times have I been shot and been all right  
  
G. Hammond: Jack, calm down  
  
Jack: calm down, how about I calm down when the Tok'ra get their snakey arse's into gear, if they were more reliable they would be here, and Jacob.  
  
G. Hammond: Colonel that is enough, I understand that you're upset, but we are doing all we can  
  
Jack: well that's not good enough  
  
^Jack, stalks off down the hall, I turn to General Hammond and he tells me to go, so I run after Jack I find him where I least expect to, in his quarters, I softly knock on the door before entering ^  
  
Daniel: can I come in  
  
Jack: this is exactly how it started  
  
Daniel: how what started  
  
Jack: this whole mess  
  
Daniel: you've lost me  
  
Jack: Sam came to see me, to ask how I was, I told her I didn't want to talk and we started fighting  
  
^ Jack had never talked about the fight they had, I've known Jack a while and not once has ever talked about his problems, so I decided to shut up and listen ^  
  
Jack: I said I wanted her out of my life and she left  
  
Daniel: Jack, you can't blame yourself  
  
Jack: that's exactly what she said. She told me there was nothing I could've done and I told her it was her fault. I was such an asshole Daniel  
  
Daniel: you were upset  
  
Jack: I accused her of sleeping with half the aliens off world, including Martouf  
  
Daniel: She knows you didn't mean it  
  
Jack: then why did she leave  
  
Daniel: Maybe there were other reasons  
  
Jack: that's bull, this is my fault, I should have gone and talked to her  
  
Daniel: okay say you did go and talk to her, say she hadn't left, she would've still gone to the function as part as Sg-1 and still gotten shot. If this is anyone's fault it's mine, that bullet was meant to be for me. Jack you can blame yourself if you want, you can blame me, hell you can even blame her date for inviting her to the thing. Its not going to change anything, all you can do is be there for her. Sam's a fighter she won't give up easily. And besides she has to kick your ass for talking about Jacob like that  
  
^ he gives me a half harted smile and I know its the best I'm going to get from him ^  
  
Daniel: did you want to go back see how she is  
  
Jack: you go a head, I think I'll just stay here for a while  
  
^ I debate about whether or not I should leave him alone, but I decide he probably wants some time to think ^  
  
Daniel: Okay, I'll see you later  
  
Jack: yeah  
  
^ I go back to the infirmary not sure what to do about Jack. Half an hour ago nothing would've moved him from the infirmary, and now you can't get him within a meter of it. I can't see Teal'c around anywhere, so I assume he's gone to do Kel'no'reme. I go and take a seat outside the infirmary, when Janet comes out ^  
  
Janet: how's the colonel ?  
  
Daniel: honestly I'm not to sure, what about you, are you okay ?  
  
Janet: Yeah, its just, jack's right I should be able to do something  
  
Daniel: you're doing all you can  
  
Janet: But its not enough is it ?  
  
^ She's got tears in her eyes and I know she blames herself just as much as Jack or I blame ourselves, so I stand up and pull her into a hug ^  
  
Daniel: this is not your fault  
  
^ she pulls away and wipes her eyes ^  
  
Janet: I'm gonna go see how she's doing, did you want to come  
  
Daniel: yeah  
  
^ we go into Sam's room, and now I know why Jack doesn't want to come back. The sight of her hooked up to all those machines, she's almost as white as the sheet, with two spots of high coloring on either cheek. I sit down on a stool next to her bed while Janet Checks her out. She takes Sam's temperature and a worried look passes over her face ^  
  
Daniel: What is it?  
  
Janet: Damn, this shouldn't be happening  
  
Daniel: what  
  
Janet: Sam's fighting off the infection a lot faster than she should be  
  
Daniel: that's good. Isn't it?  
  
Janet: yes and no. She going to need antibiotics to help with the fever. I was hoping to build her up on them first, so they weren't to much of a shock to the body but she's fighting the infection on her own which is a good sign  
  
Daniel: wouldn't it be easier to just give her drugs to help with the infection  
  
Janet: no, The reason Sam is in this mess is because of the drugs given to her in the first place. They're what first caused the infection, because of their reaction to her protein marker. Drugs are meant to help the body, not do all the work themselves. If we gave her the drugs this infection might clear, but it would be replaced with a stronger one, she needs to build up her immune system. If she can fight off the infection herself then there's less chance of it coming back. Besides there's no telling what the added strain of giving her all those drugs would do. Her body may decide to just shut down.  
  
Daniel: So if she manages to fight off this fever, then what  
  
Janet: if she can beat the fever, her chances of surviving increase dramatically. Providing the infection doesn't come back and she wakes up from the coma with no brain damage, with plenty of rest she could make a full recovery  
  
Daniel: and the worst case scenario  
  
Janet: is the fever could be to much for the body and her rentrivious vein could rupture. Or she could recover from the fever with permanent brain damage.  
  
Daniel: I see  
  
^ all of a sudden we here a groan coming from the bed. ^  
  
Daniel: Janet, what's going on  
  
Janet: her fevers starting to spike  
  
^ Sam starts to mumble something that sounds like a Jack, as she starts to have another seizure. Janet hits the emergency button on the wall and couple of nurses come in ^  
  
Janet: she's having a seizure we need to get her temperature down, I need you to give her the antibiotics to help with the fever  
  
Daniel: I thought you wanted to build her up to that  
  
Janet: we don't have time for that Daniel, go and let the colonel know what's going on  
  
Daniel: but  
  
Janet: NOW 


	3. Promising Signs

^ I race down the hall to Jacks quarters. But when I get there I decide not to go in. I turn around and head back to the infirmary. If I tell him now he's in the same position I am and all he could do is wait. Its the waiting that's the worst part. Once I know what's going on I'll let him know . I wait outside the infirmary till one of the nurses come out ^  
  
Nurse: Doctor Jackson, Doctor Fraiser told me to inform you that Major Carter is in a critical condition, however the antibiotics seem to be helping  
  
Daniel: critical condition  
  
Nurse: at this point it could go either way, I suggest if you or anyone else would like to see her, they do so now  
  
Daniel: Okay, thank you  
  
^ This time when I get to Jacks quarters, I barge in without even knocking ^  
  
Jack: Daniel what's...  
  
Daniel: Sam had another seizure  
  
Jack: is she okay  
  
Daniel: she's not doing so well, The nurse said that we should go see her now just incase...  
  
^ Jack makes some sort of grunt but makes no move to get up. How dare he, how can he just sit there and act like he doesn't even care ^  
  
Daniel: That's it, you're not even going to go and see her  
  
Jack: why should I, what's it going to change  
  
Daniel: it could change a lot of things  
  
Jack: like what  
  
Daniel: she needs you there, Jack  
  
Jack: she doesn't need me, she never did  
  
Daniel: then you tell me why, when she's meant to be deep in a coma, she's calling your name  
  
^ he looks up at that, okay so I'm only about 80% sure it was actually his name she was saying, but that's close enough ^  
  
Jack: it doesn't matter  
  
Daniel: It does matter, she's trying to fight this Jack  
  
Jack: yeah trying, and you know what the odds are Daniel, about 1 in a million that she'll make it  
  
Daniel: you've never cared about the odds before, what about all the times we've fought Goa'ulds and never had a chance, you've always gotten us out of there. You never gave up then  
  
Jack: that was different  
  
Daniel: how  
  
Jack: because I could look after you out there. I'm meant to look after my team and I let her down  
  
^ I think, I got it. He was feeling guilty. The reason jack's such a great leader is because he would willingly give his life for his team, and this was the one time he couldn't do that, he's feeling helpless because there's nothing he can do ^  
  
Daniel: you didn't let her down, you did all you could. Your letting her down now by not being there for her, besides her odds aren't that bad Janet thinks if she can fight this fever, she could make a full recovery  
  
^ Jack stands up and heads for the door. I am not going to let him run away, not this time ^  
  
Daniel: what are you doing  
  
Jack: going to fight the odds  
  
^ I smile, knowing that there's still a part of him that hasn't given up completely. Back at the infirmary, there's no sign of Janet, so Jack an I quietly slip into the infirmary where Sam is. Jack and I take a seat and after a while Janet comes in. ^  
  
Janet: how's she going  
  
Daniel: still the same  
  
Janet: try talking to her, I know it doesn't sound like much but it could help  
  
Daniel: we will thanks  
  
* After Janet leaves It doesn't take much for Daniel to fall asleep and it doesn't take long for me to join him *  
  
((((((((((((  
  
^ I wake to find Daniel gone and Janet checking Sam ^  
  
Janet: have a nice sleep colonel?  
  
Jack: yeah, where's Daniel  
  
Janet: he woke up about an hour ago, so I ordered him to go get some proper rest.  
  
Jack: what time is it?  
  
Janet: about 0700  
  
* wow, I'd been asleep for about 4 hours. Most people would be starting work now, so the SGC was bound to get a lot busier *  
  
Janet: Teal'c keeps dropping in periodically to check on Sam  
  
Jack: how is she anyway  
  
Janet: a lot better actually. Her fever is showing signs of reducing and her body is reacting well to the antibiotics she was given  
  
Jack: so, she's getting better  
  
Janet: Sam's improved dramatically over the last few hours and if she can keep it up, its possible she will make a full recovery. She still has a way to go, but its looking a lot better than it was.  
  
Jacks: that's fa.  
  
^ I don't get to finish me sentence. I look down to my hand which somehow during the night found Sam's ^  
  
Janet: what is it  
  
Jack: she squeezed my hand 


End file.
